Mr. Burns – Bass Player

Last Friday evening I got the all-too-rare opportunity to play a full band gig at a venue that was not a Mexican restaurant.

On the Thursday prior, I was asked by the owner to put together a flyer for the show the following evening. Being that this was the first time our band had played together in almost a year, and having only played together a total of maybe 5 times ever, we’ve never bothered getting official photos taken of us together. Yes, I realize this contradicts my “It All Starts With a Great Photoshoot” philosophy, but go along with me here.

Needing to put something together ASAP, I thought I’d just be able to peruse facebook to find pictures of my band mates that I could quickly run through some photoshop filters to make silhouette logos of each of them that would coincide with my own fat head logo you’ve all grown familiar with by now.

I happened to have already done one for my drummer a few months back, per his request, which I thought turned out rather brilliantly but doesn’t quite match the Bansky-esque style of how mine turned out.

Nevertheless, I continued on, thinking maybe I could find a way to bridge the gap between the two styles with my bass player’s silhouette logo, and just put his in the middle.

That was when I discovered his thinning hairline. Maybe it’s because I’ve only played a total of 5 shows with these guys altogether, or maybe it really just isn’t that noticeable, but after blowing out the contrast on his fat head, the top of it disappears entirely. White. Gone. Bald. Mr. Burns.

He was apparently already aware of this phenomenon on Friday when I told him about my findings, and was rather delightfully spirited about it, which gave me all the go ahead I needed to share it with the world here.

Of course, photoshop, with its miraculous ability to uncover truths our own eyes don’t even see, also possesses the power to alter the truth. And so, a few quick clone tool clicks later, Mr. Burns is no longer the bassist for the Troy Cono Band, and, ladies and gentlemen, we welcome Jason P. to the stage; his curly, ‘fro-y mane shimmering in all its fullness and glory.